YAY GLEE!

this is potentially the most offensive essay i have ever written.

eveningalex:

According to Wikipedia, their definition of the First Amendment reads as followed.

“The amendment prohibits the Congress from making laws ‘respecting an establishment of religion’, prohibiting the free exercise of religion, infringing on the freedom of speech and infringing on the freedom of the press.”

This amendment applies to each and every state including their government. Anyone that breaks this right will get it revoked and could be fined or imprisoned.

I’m a very outgoing and open minded person. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and has the right to express it as long as it doesn’t potentially go against the rights given to us. I believe that you can make anything funny; absolutely anything.

Outside of school, the things in the next paragraph are protected by the Constitution. Inside of the school setting though, things are different. I must follow school policy and the next paragraph should probably be acceptable. It really isn’t going to be but I plan on writing it anyway. If you are offended in the slightest, naturally, I’ll be the first to apologize and hey, I’ll even take a zero on the essay.

My mother named me Alexandra Lyn Hamilton. Judging by my rude and offensive personality nowadays, most people probably wish that my mom exercised her right to choose when I was in the womb. Preferably during the first trimester of course. No one wants a mess. I believe that most people I meet are genuinely stupid and might have an extra chromosome. That extra chromosome is usually the make or break in a relationship with me. I also believe that teenage girls are some of the stupidest people in the world. Especially when they make great decisions and have a baby. But not only do they have the baby, they keep the baby. If a girl was really in such a situation she should just opt for adoption. I don’t think abortion would be too wise unless the punch card is filled up and the eighth one is free. Its also the wrong time for these girls to be getting pregnant anyway. Everyone knows that the best time to get pregnant is when you’re a black teenage girl. While my views on abortion and childbirth might be slightly flawed, I can proudly say I do love the gays and not for obvious reasons. Gay guys are my absolute favorite. They love drama and gossiping almost as much as I do. Drama is practically gay guy Gatorade, it replenishes their electrolytes. Anyway, I really enjoy attending Villa Park High School. There is a lack of black people though. Whenever I see one though I make sure to give them a compliment. Something along the lines of how they would’ve probably made a really expensive slave in the old days. But honestly, I don’t care if you think I’m racist, I just want you to think I’m thin.

That last paragraph was terrible, mind wrenching, and definitely enough for you to burn this paper. I don’t blame you. But truly, you assigned this essay for us to give our own opinion on the topic of our first amendments rights and thats what I did. Clearly, I love my rights and I love the fact that I can generally say whatever I please in the appropriate setting. Is this the appropriate setting? Hardly. But at least I bring my book to class.

(the bolded part is my favorite <3)

ICU STEALING LINES FROM 30 ROCK AND SARAH SILVERMAN